When I found out that Bloom at my church would be studying the book, Parenting is Heart Work by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller last spring, I immediately ordered it online because parenting has been hard work for me, and I need all the help I can get!
I have five very different children in five different stages of development, all with different abilities, struggles, and very different personalities.
Anyway, I tend to have a few things on my mind at any given moment, and here are just a few of them.
I want to know why Ben, who is 11 months old, gives death pinches to whoever is holding him, which is usually me (and I have the bruises to prove it). Why does he do that?
I want to know why Julia, 3½ , wakes up in a mood that occasionally evolves into a full-blown, hysterical fit that can make the dog howl, over something as simple as wanting me to lift the toilet seat for her–which I totally don’t mind doing, IF I can understand what she is screaming at me!
I want to know why Ethan, who is almost 7, just last week, knocked over a lamp with a soccer ball, taught his sister how to jump from the coffee table to the couch, and put a hole through our window playing catch in the front yard. I have to admit, though, that I couldn’t be mad, when I saw his face streaming with tears.
I want to know why Aidan, 8½, doesn’t want to pray or talk about God, or talk about anything that he’s not already an expert on–like legos, or kickball, or history’s mysteries, or something random, just for shock value, that involves a toilet, a captive grasshopper, or perhaps the water balloon hidden in his pocket.
I want to know why Miles, a college freshman, is making these huge decisions for his life, and I have absolutely no control over his future. And why didn’t I know then what I know now, so I could’ve been a better mom … and it went by so fast … and now he’s ALL … GROWN … UP.
God has been giving me little windows into each of their hearts. So when I find myself worrying about them, I can almost hear their voices saying …
Ben: “Please forgive me, Mommy. I have no idea my pinches hurt. I just like the way your skin feels between my fingers, and it makes me feel secure.”
Julia: “Please be patient with me, Mama. I am female. I don’t know why I feel so grumpy sometimes. I’m probably just hungry, tired, or just need you to be gentle with me and hold me for a minute.”
Ethan: “Please try to understand me, Mom. I’m a BOY. I’ve got all this energy, and sometimes I don’t even know my own strength. I’m strong, and I’m tough. But please be careful with your words, your tone of voice, and the way you look at me, because I have a tender heart.”
Aidan: “Please keep pursuing me, Mom. I know lots of things, and I like to tell you about them. But I get uncomfortable when you want me to talk about things I don’t really understand, like my relationship with God. I might change the subject, or I might act silly, impatient, or bored. But don’t give up. Keep asking me questions and really listen to what I say. God wants you to teach me about Him, even if I think I already know everything.”
Miles: “Mom, please pray for me. I am legally an adult, but you’ll always be my mom. I need you in a different way now. I need you to give me space to grow. But to be ready to listen to me, when I need to talk. I need you to encourage me. Most of all, I need you to pray for me. My story isn’t over yet, I just started a new chapter.”
So, what is God doing in my life to make me “Bloom”? He’s giving me discernment, as I need it, to see beyond my children’s actions and into their hearts.
Tara Jordan Ross holds a masters in gifted education and degrees in early childhood and special education. She lives in Texarkana, Texas, with her husband Jonathan; they have five children. Tara was a special education teacher for several years before deciding to stay home with her children. Besides managing a busy household, she enjoys writing about her experiences as a mother and teacher.
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What is God doing in YOUR life to make you “Bloom”?
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